Today I doing something I very rarely do. Using someone’s else post and their words. There is a distinct point I want to make and have asked a Dear Friend if I could re-post her own of this amazing piece.
My friend Tersia’s adult daughter Vic is dying. She has been terminally ill for so long her mother remembers little else lately in terms of their lives. Now Vic is multi-organ failure which Tersia is aware there is no return from. Tersia, and her daughter Vic’s life story is a compelling one for me. They are a family in crisis that that I am unable to turn away from. I feel a kinship to Tersia that I have not found with anyone else despite having developed close and kind friendships, even here with some of you. This is so very different.
I have been wanting to write something in honor of Vic for some time. As it turns out i need to honor both Vic and her mom Tersia.
I have come to realize that we as a nation in my country, The USA we do not speak about death openly. I don’t now what other countries cultures are. I have discovered and thankfully not too late it is imperative to be able talk openly about death just as we do life. It does not even necessarily matter what is said, it is that you are talking about it together. Should you need some idea how to start a discussion with the ones you love I urge you to visit Tersia’s blog.
Some of you may know that in April of 2010 I almost lost my youngest child to a hemorrhage on her brain. A stroke. She was 34 at the time. She went under emergency brain surgery and was put in an induced coma for 3 days, Not knowing what the end result would be I had to put her life in God‘s hands. Not an easy thing for a mother to do no matter how strong your faith. .After meeting Tersia and coming to know Vic’s life story I have become connected to this family in a way I cannot explain to anyone but know its is connected to our daughters.. I don’t even try to explain it, Tersia just accepts me.
This post is about the unconditional love between a Mother & Daughter and the lessons in the wise words posted below by Michael Jospephson from Teresis’s blog. I cannot imagine what my friend is going through, and thankfully I don’t have to because she shares openly and lovingly on her blog. I do know she is a hero of mine for various reasons and I know that it is because of her that her beloved daughter Vic is being allowed to die with the grace and dignity that this very courageous woman deserves to be honored by. They are two of the bravest selfless people I know. They both have taught me how important it is to live each day mindful of only the “Now”
I also know that I hope to live my life and my daughter live hers in the light that Tersia and Vic hold out for still today. I share Tersia’s blog with my daughter and we talk about living for things that matter. Vic was just recently planning a trip to Italy for next year with her mom. That’s love people. Things that really matter. And both Tersia and her daughter Vic know what those are and how to live just today. Just for the now.
I would ask that you visit Tersia’s blog to just say hello and send them your prayer”s and thoughts today. They are in mine.
In Honor of You Vic
Vic, Tersia’s Beautiful sleeping Daughter (also posted with permission)
From The Blog Of:
What Will Matter – Michael Josephson
Ready or not, someday it will all come to an end.There will be no more sunrises, no minutes, hours or days. All things you collected, whether treasured or forgotten, will pass to someone else. Your wealth, fame and temporal power will shrivel to irrelevance. Your grudges, resentments, frustrations and jealousies will finally disappear. So too your hopes, ambitions, plans, and to-do lists will expire. The wins and losses that once seemed so important will fade away. It won’t matter where you came from, or on what side of the tracks you lived, at the end. It won’t matter whether you where beautiful or brilliant. Even your gender and skin colour will be irrelevant. So what will matter? How will the value of your days be measured? What will matter is not what you bought, but what you built; Not what you got, but how you gave. What will matter is not your success, but your significance. What will matter is not what you learned, but what you taught. What will matter is every act of integrity, compassion, courage or sacrifice that enriched, empowered or encouraged others to emulate your example. What will matter is not your competence, but your character. What will matter is not how many people you knew, but how many will feel a lasting loss when you’re gone. What will matter are not your memories, but the memories that live in those who loved you. What will matter is how long you will be remembered, by whom and for what. Living a life that matters doesn’t happen by accident. It’s not a matter of circumstance but of choice. Choose to live a life that matters. What Will Matter – Michael Josephson Tersia, & Vic thank you my dear and clear friend’s for allowing me to do this. you both softly touched my soul~ BB
- Thank you for all your support (tersiaburger.com)
- “Next year my mom and I are going to Italy” (tersiaburger.com)